I remember, a long time ago, I was walking with my friend Barbara, on the Torrey Pines Beach in San Diego. It is one of the most beautiful and inspirational place I know. It is  where I confirmed my promise to one day move back to the United States and fulfil my dream. I think it was in the summer 2002.

I did it! Even when others doubted I would. I landed in Denver, on December 27 2007 with two hours delay, due to a severe snow storm. The car dealer was waiting for me with my brand new Liberty Jeep! The trunk was filled with the basic necessary items for a first night in my new life.

Many people told me that I was quite brave, to move on my own at the age of 51, in a brand new place at the other side of the world. I don’t think that courage has any thing to do with it. My fuel was the big passion I had in my heart to one day build my own company and make a slight difference in the world. The vision of Turning points Journey, the Leadership Development company I have created is “The Empowerment of Giving and Receiving”.  Giving; to me is a tremendous source of Joy.  Joy to see people grow, joy to see Navajo people finding dignity in the employment opportunities we create for them, joy of receiving  great gifts from amazing people who have crossed my path and still do.

An other great source of joy for me is when I see through my camera lens, the beauty and light in people, from new born babies to elderly people.  My other dream is to become a worldwide portrait photographer and deliver to as many people as possible this message: “Look at how beautiful you are and see the unique gifts you carry within yourself.”

Our dreams are often the revelation of our passions. Our passions are our strength when we listen to them and fulfil our dreams.

Sometimes, when I experience some discouragement, doubt or a lack of energy, I just look back at what I have accomplished and tell myself: “If you have been able to do this, you can do it again or even more!” It is the strength that comes from fulfilling your dreams!

Relationships between mothers and daughters change as those daughters grow up. When they mature into adolescents, teenagers, young adults and independent women, their mother can be a great ally to support their growth.
We also know that Mother-daughter relationships may be more complex than other relationships. Many daughters idolize their mothers when young, but pull away during adolescence.

Later, it could be challenging for a mother to accept their daughter as a mature adult.
Some women say that they really enjoy their interactions with their daughters perhaps because they want to share feminine thoughts and ideas.

The greatest gifts that mothers can give to their daughters are probably to offer experience, to listen carefully and to respond kindly - yet honestly.

The greatest gifts that daughters can give to their mothers are probably to offer new prospective and ideas, to listen carefully, and to respond kindly – yet genuinely.

Mothers can really play a coaching role with their daughters.

But why offering a Leadership Retreat to Mothers and Daughters?

A simple definition of leadership is that leadership is the art of motivating a group of people to act towards achieving a common goal. This definition of leadership captures the leadership essentials of inspiration and preparation. Effective leadership is based upon ideas, but won’t happen unless those ideas can be communicated to others in a way that engages them. Put even more simply, the leader is the inspiration and director of the action. They are the person in the group that possesses the combination of personality and leadership skills that makes others want to follow their direction.

Your daughter can be among our leaders of tomorrow. It is our responsibility as mothers to help them develop their leadership skills at an early stage. For you mothers, it can be an amazing and rewarding journey to accompany your daughter in their growth and development of their influence in order to make a difference in the world.

The biggest challenge in any relationship is to accept others as they are, instead of wanting them to be what we want them to be. Accepting and prizing the unique gift of what our daughters can bring to the world is a wonderful growth opportunity for both of you and can be a mutual and exiting learning process.

My fiancé’s mother, Francesca, was in the General Hospital after a stroke and
we both wanted to visit her and take care of her.
What I have seen in this place was pure Love and I felt it is my responsibility to
testify about it.
This hospital is a very basic place with very limited resources to give the
minimum care to patients. When you want to visit someone, you really need to
be willing to! First of all, only one person at a time is allowed to visit. Second of
all, you need a pass to be able to go to this person and you can get it only at a
certain time of the day. You have to provide almost everything to the person
like mineral water, wipes, blankets and towels, soap and other supplies that
can help the person to be more comfortable.
What I have seen was amazing.
I saw sons and daughter staying nights and days taking care of their parents.
When I say taking care, it means washing them even intimately, moving them, giving them massages, talking to them with love, care and energy, entertaining them to bring some hope and joy in their hearts.
I have seen people giving each other signs of affection and love, being
attentive to any expressed needs, totally dedicated to serve.
I have seen sons and daughters, husbands and wives sleeping on the floor to stay overnight with their beloved ones.
I have seen patients in the room taking care of other patients and making sure
that every need is fulfilled.
I have seen nurses and health care staff giving unlimited time and care to their
patients.
I have seen human beings sharing their Faith and keeping praying for each
other.
I have seen the miracle of people moving from a depressed and weak state to
a joyful and improved condition after receiving so much Love and care.
These people have very little and have everything. They have the three
qualities that make great people:

• The courage to walk the talk of Love.
• The humility to serve whatever it requires and to rely on each other.
• The tremendous ability to give.

Even in the dark, the light of Love can exist and carry a unlimited power to heal
and create hope. These people exactly know what richness means, the one of the kingdom of Love.

When we left the hospital, Francesca did not need oxygen anymore, she was
smiling and even laughing and she is now back to her daughter’s home.
Let us dedicate our lives to the tremendous healing power of Love.

• The kind of coaching is clearly defined. (Emerging leader, Leader in development, Strategic leader.)
• The person is willing to go through it and grow.
• The organization has a clear objective to support the coached and is willing to establish a three ways contract with clear objectives and measurement criteria.(two ways for a strategic leader)
• The confidentiality between the coach and the coached is fully respected.

 Our approach
We believe that Leaders need to regularly take some distance from their day to day and reflect about what they do.  They have a stressful life and it is sometimes really a challenge for them to balance their personal and professional life. They are intensively watched by their followers and they need to walk the talk to maintain their credibility to keep their people on board and achieve their goals.  It is one of the reasons why we have created our Executive Leadership Retreat. We think that having someone who plays the sounding board, challenges positively and genuinely is critical for success and growth. We offer our customers a way to develop their congruence (being fully responsible for who they are and their actions), their listening and empathic skills and to develop the ability to transform their threats and challenges into opportunities.

Our value proposition is the following:

“People are sovereign individuals and can choose to manage their own change”

At Turning points LLC, we support the ideology that there are three qualities that make a Leader effective: Courage, Humility and the Ability/Willingness to give and serve.

Executive Coaching Services we offer to our customers.
Courage.

• The courage to say no to a client when we estimate the conditions of a successful coaching  are not there, whether the person is not willing to enter a coaching journey or the company does not have clear objectives or has what we call an “hidden agenda”.
• The courage not to give up ourselves as a coach when we experience some conflicts with our own values.
• The courage to deliver honest and transparent feedback and play the sounding board all along the process, even if it is sometimes challenging.

Humility.

• The humility to admit as a coach that we don’t know better than the coached. Most of the time, our customers have all the answers within themselves, and our mission as a coach is to help them, through our questions, insights, and the way we challenge them, to find their own responses.

One of our customers said the following; “My coach used an approach with me that made me think deep down and then come up with an answer. She did not lecture. She helped me come up with the right approach. Painful but very, very effective!!” International Head of Sales, Global Phone Company
Ability and Willingness to give and serve.

• Being an Executive Coach implies a full commitment to serve the coached and the organization which hired us for the mission. It does also imply a very positive attitude, generosity and the willingness to give your best to the person you are working with.
• Compassion and unconditional positive regard demonstrated by the coach.
• We have a lot of dedication, flexibility and adaptability and at the same time sticking to the rules and work frame we have prior defined with the client, and to be very clear about the boundaries of the relationship we are building.
• In order to ensure there is a good fit between the Coach and the Coached, we always offer to our customers a choice of coaches to guaranty a good alchemy in the relationship and therefore high level results that serves as well the person and their organization.

A few weeks ago, I was in Europe, delivering a seminar for a Direction Committee of
a fast growing Global Organization.
As an inspiration trigger, I started the day with some Native American Quotes
distributed randomly to the participants up front.
The President drew the following: “Any great vision starts with a dream”. I
asked participants to read their quotes and comment on them. The President said
about his one: “Dream…..Do I still have dreams! Where do I stand today, leading
this company?”

I created Turning points, Blazing a trail for prosperity in response to what I have
seen all along my career, as a consultant and General Manager working for and with
global, mid size and small Corporation.
The most successful company were led by strong Leaders, knowing clearly where
they wanted to go , showing great respect for their people and listening to them,
being able to dedicate some time to their personal growth and being able to turn
their criticisms into opportunities instead of blaming others. It never prevented them
to smoke big Cuban cigars, enjoy a glass of a 20 years aged Whiskey or spending a
day on their favorite Golf Resort!
According to an Article Written by Alison Aprhys and Paul Quinn, Quinntessential
Marketing Consulting Pty Ltd the top two of ten reasons why people quit their
company are:
Under-staffing – are your employees expected to carry an unrealistic workload that
sees them working long hours day after day without respite or promise of a better
future?
Poor Communication – are management communicating with staff in an open,
transparent and timely manner?
“Often people don’t quit their jobs – they quit their bosses!” 

I have worked for more than 20 years with leaders and corporate people. Many
times, I have been confronted to this belief that Leaders are responsible for motivating their employees. I want to challenge this statement. People are sovereign individuals and responsible for their own choices and life. Nobody can pretend to be willing for other people. I like this quote from Dwight D.Eisenhower “Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.”

The question is: As a leader, am I responsible for people motivation or am I responsible for creating the environment that drives people to choose to be on board?

To want other to be what you want them to be is a way to deny their sovereignty. Each individual has the choice to become a follower or not. My job as a leader is to create appealing conditions that may attract people to follow me. But, by the way, what are these conditions?

Let’s have a look on what Robert Goffee and Gareth Jones say in their article
Should anyone be led by you ? (HBR)

“We all know that leaders need vision and energy. But to be inspirational, leaders need four other qualities. Probably not what you’d expect, these qualities can be honed by almost anyone willing to dig deeply into their true selves. Inspirational leaders also share four unexpected qualities:

• They selectively show their weaknesses: by exposing some vulnerability,they reveal their approachability and humanity.
• They rely heavily on intuition to gauge the appropriate timing and course of their actions. Their ability to collect and interpret soft data helps them know just when and how to act.
• They manage employees with something we call tough empathy. Inspirational leaders empathize passionately-and-realistically-with people, and they care intensely about the work employees do.
• They reveal their differences. They capitalize on what’s unique about themselves”

So, who you are as a leader seems to be critical in developing followers.

In other words; I would say that what make the difference are some main qualities that successful leaders have:
• The courage to follow their vision independently of the circumstances.
• Humility to recognize they can’t be successful without others
• The ability to give and especially in helping their people to grow
This last one is critical as it is where leaders recognize the sovereignty of their followers in acknowledging their inner power to be responsible for their own choices and their willingness to contribute.

Motivation is the choice and responsibility of the follower, creating an appealing and inspiring environment is the responsibility of the leader. It is where the “Beauty” of the success of an organization stands.

Lao Tzu says: “The wise leader is not collecting a string of successes. The leader is helping others to find their own success” “No one can tell you what to do. That is your freedom”
December 2010